I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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