I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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