Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Will exercising make me less horny?
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