I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I die, sorry about rent.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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