Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
