hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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