I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize