Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
