So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
