I feel great
I just peed on a car
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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