i barfeds in our rink
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
