she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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