(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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