If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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