i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize