Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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