Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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