the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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