you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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