just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
