it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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