help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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