just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize