Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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