Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
