i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
