have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
