just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
