So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
