So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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