Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
