we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
