you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
