people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
