i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
where are you?
Hypothermia
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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