My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
