we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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