Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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