i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
