Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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