I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
