Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize