Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
