and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
