Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
