We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
