I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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