I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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