If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
