i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
