She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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