it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
