lets start a swedish sibling band together
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
