I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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