No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
