After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
