Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize