At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
