well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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