So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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