Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
