I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
