Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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