also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
