capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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