Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
