Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
