That's intense
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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