My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
