gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
