He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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